Jack's Day Out
by diamondhana
Summary: Instead of being born an adult, Jack was born a one year old. A few weeks after the season 12 finale, Jack is kidnapped by Asmodeus. Can Sam and Dean get their son back, or will they be too late? Wacky hiijinks ensue as Asmodeus realizes that even as a baby, Jack can outsmart him. This fic is based on Baby's Day Out(1994). Can be read as either wincest or gen. Feedback appreciated!
1. The Kidnapping

Sam sighed as he rocked Jack back and forth. He had been trying to get the 1 year old to sleep for 45 minutes now, and nothing. Maybe children of Satan don't need sleep?

Jack giggled in his arms and drooled everywhere. Sam smiled down at him. Ever since he had first held Jack in his arms, he knew he was nothing like Lucifer. Jack had a kind soul, while Lucifer's was black. It had taken a while to get Dean to come around, but once he did, the entire bunker was filled with kids toys. Dean insisted that they give Jack a proper childhood, and Sam wasn't complaining. If he could just get Jack to go to sleep.

"Come on kiddo," Sam crooned in his mom voice, as Dean called it. "Go to sleep, I know you're tired." Singing softly to him, Jack finally closed his eyes. Sam stood up slowly and placed Jack in his crib.

They had transformed Sam's room into a nursery for Jack, since Sam slept in Dean's room anyway. Making his way to their room, he opened the door quietly to see Dean's snoring figure on the memory foam bed. Smiling at him fondly, Sam quietly slipped under the covers, and Dean shifted behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Sam slept, knowing that his family was safe.

"Hurry up you bozos!" Asmodeus glared at his 2 lackeys, Bob and Jeff. "The Winchesters won't be asleep for long. Take down the sigils."

"Sorry boss." They groveled.

Asmodeus just sighed. When you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

Finally, the sigils were removed, and the demons slowly opened the door to the bunker. Since they were low on power, they couldn't just flash in. Asmodeus fumed. He hated being as useless as a human, and he hadn't had anytime to get another kick of angel grace before they had left.

As they crept in, Asmodeus signaled to his lackeys. "You go and get the Nephilim. I'll stand lookout to make sure the Winchesters don't interfere."

"Ay ay boss!" The demons saluted before making their way to Jack's nursery. When they entered, they encountered a sleeping Nephilim. They grinned to each other. This was going to be as easy as stealing candy from a baby. Or Nephilim. Whatever.

Jack was sleeping soundly, having a dream about nougat, when he heard his door open. He grinned. Sam had come to play with him.

Jack looked around, his Nephilim eyes allowing him to see in the dark. But instead of seeing his dad, he saw two strangers who smelled bad making their way into his room. Maybe they would play with him!

Two pairs of hands lifted him awkwardly out of the bed, and he heard someone hiss. "You're not holding him right! We shouldn't be holding him up by his feet."

Jack let out a high pitched laugh. Sam never held him like this. It was like when Dean threw and caught him in the air when he thought Sam wasn't looking.

"We got him Bob! Let's go tell the boss!" Before they could get out, 2 angry Winchesters burst in, wielding guns.

Dean was in a deep sleep when he heard a shriek. He immediately leapt up and and shook Sam awake. "Sam, I think I heard Jack yell! Wake up!"

Sam shot up out of bed, running down the hall before he could even register Dean's words.

They burst into Jack's nursery to see 2 demons holding their baby.

Dean raised his gun to shoot, but they thrust Jack in front of them, using him a human shield. "Shoot us and your kid dies!"

Sam growled, and rushed towards them, just to feel a sharp burst of pain on the back of his head. The world went dark.

"Sammy!" Dean cried in horror as he saw Asmodeus hit Sam with a frying pan.

Asmodeus wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Dean Winchester. You're lucky I'm not at full power, or your brothers entrails would be on the floor."

Dean saw red. Nobody threatened Sammy and got away with it. "You son of a bitch! Stay the hell away from my family!" Dean shot his gun, clipping Asmodeus' shoulder as he dove out of the way."

"Lackeys, kill him!"

Neil knew this was his moment. He crept up behind the irate Winchester and swung the frying pan that lay next to him. Dean crumpled to the ground.

Asmodeus got up, brushing off his suit. "Come on boys, let's get that baby back to hell where he belongs."

Sam groaned, his head pounding. What the hell was he doing on the floor?

His eyes shot open as last night's memories came rushing back. Where was Jack?

He looked over to see Dean's prone body next to him. A zing of panic shot through his body.

Sam shook Dean frantically. "Dean! Dean, are you OK? Wake up man!"

Dean woke up slowly, grumbling. "Sam, did we get plastered last night or something? My head's killing-" Dean broke off as he remembered what happened. "Those son of a bitches took Jack! I'll rip their lungs out!"

"I know, and I'll be right next to you." Sam agreed. Nobody messes with their kid and gets away with it. Asmodeus better watch his back, because he had 2 angry Winchesters on his tail.

-I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'll try to update this fic weekly.


	2. The Escape

-Hi guys, so this is the second chapter of this story. I tried to make it funny, but I'm not sure how it turned out.

Jack gurgled in Jeff's arms as they carried him to a safe house. They were still too low on energy to flash back to Hell, which annoyed Asmodeus to no end.

"All right!" Asmodeus yelled. "Jeff, you get the kid to go to sleep. I don't want him bothering me." Then he clambered over to the sofa and turned on the TV. Ever since he had gotten a glimpse of football, Asmodeus had gotten hooked. Not that he would ever tell anybody that.

Jeff stared confusedly at Jack. "Hey boss, you're a smart guy. How do you tell the front from the back on these diapers?"

Asmodeus sighed. These idiots couldn't do anything on their own. "Are there pockets in the front?"

Jeff turned the diaper over, then glared at Asmodeus. "Very funny. The front and back are the same."

"Then it probably doesn't make any difference." Asmodeus shot back.

Jeff turned in trepidation towards Jack. "I'm going in guys. Wish me good luck."

Jack giggled and squirmed as the strange bald man tried to change his diaper. He twisted this way and that, making a game of it. Dean never let him do this! Finally, just as Jeff was about to get the diaper on, Jack peed.

"Oh, gross!" Jeff looked down at his damp clothes. "Bob, help me out!"

Bob turned around and laughed at him. "You're on your own buddy."

"Nice try. You get to work on making the kid some milk. That is what kids drink these days right?" Asmodeus rolled his eyes. "In my day, kids used to eat a healthy beating heart for breakfast. Humans are so soft."

Bob got to work on making the kid milk while Jeff finally wrangled Jack into some clothes. After a few minutes, Bob walked up with a piping hot bottle of milk. "Hey boss, How do I know this milk won't burn the kid's throat? If that matters."

"Do I look like some baby whisperer?" Asmodeus shouted. "Try it on some skin first."

Bob got a mischievous grin on his face. Leaning over Jeff, he slowly dropped a few drops of boiling milk on his bald head.

"Gah!" Jeff shrieked. "What's the matter with you?"

"I better let it cool down." Bob said smugly.

Just then, Jack let out a high-pitched giggle.

Bob grinned down at him. "You like that?"

Jack giggled again.

Bob got a glint in his eye. "Hey boss?'

"What?"

"Watch the baby." With that, Bob poured some of the milk onto poor Jeff's bald head.

"Gah!" Jeff exclaimed, drowned out by Jack's laughter.

Asmodeus cracked a smile. "Very good. Now see if it works the other way."

Jeff whacked Bob upside the head. Jack giggled again.

"It works."

"Enough horsing around." Asmodeus barked. "Put the kid in the bedroom. The more he sleeps, the less attention he draws from the neighbors. The Winchesters are already on our ass, we don't have to make it easy for them."

Bob immediately whirled around and yelled. "Not it! You get to put the kid to sleep."

Before Bob could even protest, Asmodeus nodded. Pouting, he made his way to the bedroom, carrying the 1 year old.

"Keep an eye on him!" Asmodeus yelled after him.

Once in the bedroom, Jeff looked at Jack in trepidation. "All right. Nappy-nap time, little jerk. Go to sleep real nice cos Mr Teddy Bear over here, he's been up all night drinking with the Barbie dolls and he needs his rest."

Jack just blinked at him. He wasn't tired at all. In fact, this was the adventure of a lifetime.

"All right. Drink your milk. Take your nap." Jeff pushed the milk into Jack's hands. Jack just giggled again.

"Drink your milk! Take your nap!" Jeff said in frustration. "Boss!" he yelled over his shoulder.

Asmodeus' eyes twitched in irritation. "What!"

"You got any suggestions on how you get these things to eat and sleep?"

"Sing him a song."

Jeff racked his head for a nursery rhyme. "Boss! What did Mary's little lamb do?"

Asmodeus frowned in confusion. "Didn't he put Humpty Dumpty back together again?"

Now Jeff was truly confused. "How can a lamb put a Humpty together again? He ain't got fingers."

Jack was getting impatient, so Jeff began to sing. As he sang, he made up words to the lyrics, too inappropriate to be written down. Jack listened, learning new words. He couldn't wait to show his dads all the new things he had learned.

After a few minutes of this ridiculousness, Asmodeus yelled. "Knock off the singin' and read him his storybook. If you can." Bob smirked at that.

Jeff gulped. He had never learned how to read while he was human, so he figured it wasn't that important.

"Wanna hear a story? Let's see here. What do we got here?" Jeff tried to sound out the words and drown out the laughter he heard from the other room.

Bob chimed in, being a smartass. "I think the kid could read better than you!"

Jack let out a gurgle, as if agreeing with him. Eventually, Jeff got the hang of it and kept reading the book about a baby who went on an adventure throughout the city, going on a bus, to the mall, the zoo, and a retirement home. As Jeff continued to read, he felt his eyes getting heavy. Jack watched in astonishment as Jeff fell asleep.

"Finally!" Jack thought to himself. "Now I can go on an adventure too!"

"I'm going out to look for Jack again."

Sam looked up to see his brother holding his gear.

"Dean, we don't have any leads yet. We should wait to see if Rowena can come up with a good enough tracking spell."

"I'm not gonna sit on my ass while our kid's out there with some low-life demons Sammy!" Dean yelled.

"You think I'm OK with this Dean?! He's my kid too! I get that you're worried, but we're gonna find Jack and bring him home. Besides," Sam reasoned. "We shouldn't go in without a plan. They could hurt Jack."

At the mention of Jack being hurt, Dean relented. "Fine Sammy, but if Rowena doesn't come up with anything solid by the end of the day, we're doing things my way."

Jack looked over at the bald man, and saw him fast asleep. Jack was bored. He wanted an adventure, like the one in the book. He glanced around the room, and felt a bolt of excitement race through his little body. The bald man had forgotten to close the window! This was it!

Jack began slowly crawling out the window and onto the roof. He let out a little cry as he felt something sharp on his hand. Crawling was hard. Jack concentrated really hard, and slowly began to levitate. Much better! He saw a little window looking down into the living room, where the other two funny smelling men were. He giggled and made his way over. As he looked down at them, he felt some of his drool falling.

Asmodeus sighed in irritation as he felt spit land on the back of his neck. "Do you have to do that?"

Bob looked up from the fingernail he was biting off. "I like to look nice."

"You gotta spit?"

"I don't know about you, but I don't eat pieces of my body." Bob cocked an eyebrow.

Asmodeus just looked back at the game, too tired to fight. He again felt something wet on the back of his neck. He stretched his arm out and smacked Bob on the head.

"What? What did I do?" Bob exclaimed, rubbing his head.

"You spit on me."

"I did not!" Bob protested.

"Somebody did, and you're the only one in the room."

Jack giggled.

Both Asmodeus and Bob looked up and looked at each other. Then they whipped their heads back up, horrified. They scrambled off the couch and ran into the bedroom, to see Jeff sleeping soundly.

"You idiot!" Asmodeus fumed.

Jeff startled awake. "What? No, no. Be quiet. You're gonna wake up the baby."

Asmodeus climbed onto the bed and shook Jeff. "The baby's on the roof!"

The 3 demons scrambled out the window. Jeff balked. He had always been scared of heights. Bob impatiently kicked him out of the window.

"What! No! No!" Jeff exclaimed as he pitched forward and almost fell off.

Bob scrambled out and began running after Asmodeus. He looked back to see Jeff clutching the rails, panting. He rolled his eyes. "Hurry. Come on, hurry." Bob grabbed Jeff and dragged him off the railing.

Asmodeus frantically whipped his head back and forth, looking for Jack. He spotted Jack, and his eyes went wide. The Nephilim was crawling along the edge of the building. "Oh my Lucifer!"

Jack crawled along the edge of the building, looking down. He really wanted to go the the building next to this one. It was a pretty red, and that was Jack's favorite color. He spotted a long wooden board stretching between the two building. Bingo! Jack slowly made his way on the board. It tipped forward as Jack began to move to the middle. Now he was directly between the two buildings.

Asmodeus bit his lip in fear. If anything happened to Jack, the Winchester's would gank his ass. Not to mention, he wouldn't have a little soldier to do his bidding. He ran along the side of the building, getting closer to Jack.

Jack finally made it to the other building. As he crawled off the wooden board, it snapped backward, hitting Asmodeus square on the chin. He staggered backwards and fell to the ground.

Bob and Jeff ran forward.

"Boss! What happened? Are you OK?" Jeff rattled off the questions nervously.

Bob looked around in annoyance to see what had harmed his boss. He spotted the wooden board stretching between the buildings. He shook his head. "People shouldn't leave this lying around." He grabbed the board and tossed it down below.

Jeff looked up in horror. "What are you doing, dope?"

"It was in the way." Bob shrugged.

"That was our only way to get to the kid!"

Jack glanced back and saw the strange men yelling at each other. He grinned to himself. It was time to find the nearest bus. He was going on an adventure.

-I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I updated quicker than I thought I would. I would love to hear your thoughts on it :)

Feedback appreciated!


End file.
